Sunday, April 29, 2012

I'll probably also take a shower.

Nah.

Maybe, I'll have brunch and then maybe post on IMDb.

TV

I guess I'll catch up on a TV show I try not to miss more than most.

Post Edit

In my last post, I changed "acceptable" to "accepting."

How to Go Through Setting the Standard

I can't believe to what extreme people find me guilty and punishable.

I wish someone didn't act so much like they wanted me to call them the "n" word.  I am accepting to the fact that some people grew up thinking it's literally what's right because it's a valuable word with none other like it.  People who are afraid of it have insecurities.  I wouldn't use it because it's not polite.  It's not really a risk.

MySpace Edit

I changed the 2nd mention of "Native American" to "Native American indian" like I did in the 1st mention.

How can somebody feel mad about doing something to others?

What makes someone get in a rage about something you did to someone else?  Is it when people use that person as a tool?

I added a link to my last post

for quintessence.

Family

I absolutely hate it when anyone outside of my family tries to change it because it always goes wrong.

Superiority Complex

Why would someone say that something that's okay for you to do that they do bad is not okay for someone else and use them as a prop to say they are in a higher position then?

Rebelling

Why would someone who did something wrong before you did think they have an assertive control over you in a bad way?

Negative Suggestions

If more intelligent conversation is needed and all there is to talk about is negative things, why do people even think you have time to make new negative suggestions?

Something That's Not Okay

If something wasn't okay before and people happen to act mad at you for doing something you thought someone wanted you to do, does that mean it's still not okay?

Changes Things

If someone does something wrong to you and they happen to act mad at you for doing something you thought someone wanted you to do, is doing the same thing they did wrong before okay?

Emotional Feelings

I don't like people thinking you didn't will something fully for someone else when you know you did.  They think you need to go all perverted and show more emotioanl feelings.  That's not what emotional feelings are for.

MySpace Edit

I reordered and reformatted my race.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

MySpace Edit

I numbered more of my information.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

Star Interactions Website Edit

I edited that Johnny Depp said hi to me on Twitter and that Helena Bonham Carter followed me on Twitter was in 2011|2012 instead of being sure it was 2011.

MySpace Edit - I added Star Interactions.

It's around the middle bottom and in bold.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

MySpace: Magical Things Edit

I added that the "Ghost Adventures" thing was during the day.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

Okay...

...I'm going to finish folding my laundry and watch the rest of 2 episodes of "The Ellen Degeneres Show."

MySpace Edit: I added a new thing to Magical Things That Have Happened to Me to the bottom of the About Me section.

It's number 9 right now and about the jogging at night.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

I guess I forgot to add one magic thing.

I'm going to go finish watching the rest of 2 episodes of "The Ellen Degeneres Show."

MySpace Edit: I added Magical Things That Have Happened to Me to the bottom of the About Me section.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

"The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" - Spoiler

Highlight to read: In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the older man believes that the youngest girl is telling the truth.  It's also because she always tells the truth, the 2 older kids say, and the other kid who says she is lying doesn't.

How to Deal With the Truth

It's funny when you find all evidence leading to the truth, like someone, who did something someone wanted them to that they didn't want to do because usually it isn't nice, is clearly innocent and you know for a fact that, other than the incident of someone else wanting them to do something, they are more in the right than someone else.

There's the thing where since, you shouldn't have done it, you shouldn't even justify that you didn't mean it and act like the other person is guilty for wanting you to do it.

Sides

It isn't polite to tell someone like me who tries to act European in America thatI'm not as much of a person from reality like supposedly Europe must be and not as European when it's clear I've always tried to just be very European.

On my part, there's only so much I can do.  I suppose part of it is that my mom isn't European.  I just don't have anything I can compete with.

Not Under Control

If something is private and you are convinced someone wanted you to do something through exchanging feelings, it seems that it really wasn't under control if it becomes a big deal later.

The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened to Me

was sleeping through trying for IMDb message boards profile 33333333.  :(  I am trying for 33443344 and 34343434.  I just wanted it to look like hearts.  I'm also interested in 44444444.

Website Update - MySpace - Middle Name and Confirmation Name

I added my middle name and confirmation name to the About Me section of About Me.

http://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett

Off to Finish "The Ellen Degeneres Show!"

Website Update: Website of People

Website of People

I added pictures of Ellen Degeneres, Chloë Moretz, Alexa Vega, and Abigail Breslin.

Justification

I feel that people are justifying my worth to the peeves of others in order to pay the price.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I added a new baby picture.

Me Through the Years

I put it back up.

I might be switching around.

I took down the YouTube of me singing.

Sleep

It's time for me to go to sleep!

Exercise

I haven't been exercising a whole lot lately, but I've been exercising.  Today, I started doing push-ups and sit-ups, again.

New YouTube of Me Talking

YouTube

New YouTube of Me Singing

YouTube

I guess I'll sing.

I'll record and publish it, I'm pretty sure.

Rest of the Night|Morning

I'm probably gonna finish watching the Ellen show and go to bed.

I figured out why people who don't know you are harsher.

It's because they don't know you well and are bound to seem more harsh.

2 New Photos of Me

Flickr

Okay

If someone gives the okay, what's the fuss?

I guess things aren't really okay|perfect.  :(

Not Starting out on the Right Foot

I seem guilty on start and didn't form any true relationships online.  I was always so careful, also careful to look cool.

Asians

I think they have more control over their body.  Europeans sometimes exaggerate looking like prehistorical cavemen.  I was watching a commercial of teeth and noticed the similarities to mine.  I could tell why they were so different.

My internet shut off.

Now, I'm hooked on the Ellen Show.

Tonight

I guess I'll do my nails and then go on IMDb some and then catch up on a TV show.

I guess I can watch Olivia Newton-John on the internet!

Oh no!

Olivia Newton-John didn't record!  :o

Oh and I guess

I should watch Olivia Newton-John on TV 1st before Twitter.

Laying in the Tub

I'm gonna take a shower now.

Twitter when I get back!

New YouTube Video of Me

http://www.youtube.com/user/XtinaBarrett86/videos

Revelations

Did you ever feel that people were waiting for you to get fooled in how someone wants you to treat them and then treat you like "the scum of the earth?"  Isn't that how most people are treated?  That's because of how they think about others and how they treat them emotionally.  They think they can get away with it, but they can't.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Trying to Make Good People Bad

I feel like people have tried to tell good people they are being too good and that it's silly to be afraid of doing certain things emotionally.

It's true, though, that some people do things that are slightly wacky just to make things more fun.  It doesn't seem like the traditional thing to do, and I wonder if it's really the right thing to do.

Practice doesn't always make perfect.

That's if you do it the wrong way.

There's no reason to rebel and act like you have to get something out on someone else.

I also heard some kids outside screaming.

They were screaming randomly.

Noise

It's not garbage day.  Maybe, it's recycling day.  I saw across the street an African-American in like a garbage truck.  He like slammed the ground a few times after about 10 minutes.  It was so loud and startling.  It definitely affected me physically.  I was just in the kitchen making supper.  I don't usually do all of supper because my mom choses what she does and I wait for her in the evening and help if I'm not asleep.

Why didn't I think further?

I don't think I could.  I should have known that even if someone wanted me to do something bad that they would get into more trouble if I did it.  I mean if it was something I was doing to them, just to see me do it or maybe to tell others I did it.  Maybe, they had nothing to do.  Yea, I've seen people dare others to do things.  It's just silly stuff, nothing like robbing a bank.  You have to be careful because someone could tell the police if you do something funny to them.  You can say they told you to do it, but it still wouldn't be a good experience.  I took a lie detector test for fun.  I don't know if they asked me anything.  This was when I was 13, I think.

Medicine

In a way, it's too bad I went to the mental hospital.  The medicine helped give me a brain tumor.

It was probably why I fell asleep when I was about to get a profile on IMDb and missed it.

I figured it out!

I'm getting profile # 34343434 since I missed profile # 33333333!

If I miss that, I can get profile # 43434343.  I think I want this one, anyway.  I wonder what will happen to my friends list.

The Dog

The dog started acting friendly again.

5 New Pictures of Me

Flickr

Race

Why is it important for people to affirm their race in retrospect to someone who has part non-European?

On the Edge

Some people still have to size me up as though I did nothing wrong.  Like, they have to justify why they didn't actually just think up for me a complete insult.

Hurt

People let others do things they wouldn't do without their consent, people can tell, to others.  It turns out that people who aren't as close to you try to act like they are closer to you and affect your situation more.

Because of One's Faults

Because of one's faults, one can't|shouldn't torture others for having it better just because you wonder what you're worth, when you know perfectly well there are other people in other positions that are not so good and you leave them alone instead out of feer or for some reason some kind of respect.

My Brother's Dog

It seemed hurt from being a dog and started to make me feel uncomfortable. It was hurt from being a pet and not an individual. It doesn't have the same needs as humans. It chose to turn on me because I live with my parents and don't work and get to see lots of movies at the movie theater and go out with my dad and stuff a lot. Like, I have fun and am getting good attention from my parents and online. He just is the dog, sleeps and goes outside and eats and drinks. It surprises me how occupied he seems and how much he seems to understand. So, he's really affected me. Like I said, my mom used to put him in their room, which makes it smell. The dog wouldn't come in when it was a little rainy because he knows when he's wet I trap him in the porch. He seemed pretty mad, and under his breath it sounded like he said "the door" kinda like a horse being a little tortured. He seemed defiant to me a bit. He backed up on his back legs and was down on his front legs kind of writhing his head. I like keeping him outside, but he always wants to come in sometimes after not a very long time. I might have to confine him to my parents's bedroom.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I'm kind of sad.

Things could have gone so much better.  I want profile 33333333!

How People Are Around Me


People can't just wish they could be mean to you for a reason that exists when what happened was, like, I was really sent signals to call someone the "n" word, signaled by herself.

People are being mean to me racially as an excuse for me to stop mattering in anything I say.  I know this is totally unfair.

It seems that every time Johnny Depp comes out with another huge movie that something like this happens.  He's a good guy.  I don't understand everyone's jealousy.  I know that's also a sin, like not realizing that I didn't even do anything literally that needs to be forgiven but that needs to be forgotten because I didn't do it out of my own suggestion.  It was out of the suggestion of who I did it to.  Other people are the ones doing the deed to be mean to me.

It seems people are upset that I feel more comfortable with Johnny Depp, in a way, partly because I got used to being a fan as of now.  I'm also from the same area partly.  I'm guessing they think it's unfair in and of itself that for some reason he's very risque to them because they want to feel that way.  That's how I feel now, in generality.  I don't think people should play around in such a bad way with things Johnny Depp does that consider different in general that they didn't do before they knew him because that's been a specific trend going on.

I just felt some of a good feeling, though, like a feeling of being in another world, I suppose where no one can harm me.  It was a line of flesh pumping up the side of my waist that felt like it wasn't me doing it.

I'm tired of people thinking they need to suggest some insult to me when supposedly none was suggested to them for something similar.

I think people just want to embarrass me and make me feel uncomfortable.  They won't stop, even if I try to forget about them.  I hope things change and get better.

People can't be so possessive of what they do in learning how to hate me, neither.  They think it's something they have to do.  Lots of people call people the "n" word when it wasn't because someone acted like they wanted to be called that.  True, it might be different kinds of people, though, but that's another reason this is so awkward for me.  People understand it was a misunderstanding or not, meaning they wanted me to do it, which seems to be what's surfacing unspoken-ly, so why not just realize that and stop bothering me?  I know somewhat it's a safety precaution.  I have to look into that it's for the fact that they might accidentally call me something more strongly.  I've been a bit harmed, though, somehow, too.  People just have to have it.

Do people feel bad about something you thought and that they did ask for?  They just pretend these feelings weren't true?  ... or am I wrong?

If there were more reasons to do something, that doesn't mean the person is wrong if there is an underlying reason otherwise.

Also, if you don't like something about a parent, it doesn't mean the child has to be like the parent was.

Forced Into Not Feeling Good

All ways of being stimulated don't come with ecstasy.

Saying Someone Did Something That You Consider Not Bad

Well, if it's something bad and you're too embarrassed to give all the information, things could get messy.  I mean if it was just a misunderstanding.  I thought someone was giving me signals to call them the "n" word, and I'm pretty sure they were.  I don't think everyone would be treated as I am if they did that and that if they did that it would be for a bad reason.  I thought they just wanted me to participate in losening up.  I didn't want to.  It feels that if I did for a bad reason I'd be in trouble.  In a way, my life still goes on, in some ways better than it should and in others, well, losing profile 33333333, not so good.

Suggestions

People make suggestions that are too intense of people who aren't mean enough to me or so.  They think I'm not worth it.  No one should even be testing to have these things happen.  I can't do anything to get out of this, and no one cares.  It's not even my fault.  If it were, I bet people would be so overwhelmed they'd be tempted to do the same thing.  Actually, I think people would leave it alone as done.  Maybe, they think I'll do something bad.  It doesn't seem like it, though.  The insults are starting to catapult elsewhere.  It doesn't seem appropriate.  It doesn't make sense to do that all of a sudden.

IMDb Profile

I guess I will try for 33443344 and use that until I think of another number.  I so wish I didn't fall asleep and set my cell alarm wrong when I was supposed to try for 33333333.  I want something that looks like hearts.  At first, I thought I wanted 33443344.  My favorite number, as I said, is 322.  It's been my number since the internet started to get popular.  My profile number now is 33223322.  So, I dunno, this one looks good, too.  Maybe 34343434, too.

Guilt

When there's something it feels like you should do for awhile and then it turns out it's "something not to do," it doesn't seem that anything should be available of yours to others to be taken away, like emotionally. I mean, I never do anything totally wrong. I find people are thinking they can do stuff to me emotionally right and left. I seem to have this problem because I have awkward misunderstandings and stuff.

What to Do, What to Do

I just finished ironing my laundry.  I'm wondering if I should watch the Ellen Show or camp out in my room catching up on "The Secret Circle" until it's time for me to get supper ready around 4:00 P.M. or 4:30 P.M.  I may end up heating the supper partly in a little oven and then post on IMDb.  I guess, when I catch up on "The Secret Circle,) I'll be able to watch the Ellen show more often.  I dunno, I could get supper ready and watch the Ellen show.  I dunno, maybe I need to reflect.  I feel kinda bad.  I was sleeping through getting the number 33333333 on IMDb because my cell alarm wasn't set at the right time.  I was pretty tired when I set it that time.  I should have counted better and gotten more sleep earlier.  I'm not as excited about waiting for another number.  I really wanted that one.  :'(

Gotta Have Someone

People want to think they can look up to someone so eradicate the competition.

I'm pretty good.

People are always acting mean around me and seem to be cursing at me in their heads.

Making It Count

People think being bad is good!

My Brother's Dog

He'd been extra good, but now it's like he's trained to be bad.

Something to Do About Something

People act like there's something you can do about things, when there isn't.  In reality, there has to be, but sometimes it doesn't happen right away, if not often.

Other Race

Why would someone act as though they are the scum of another race, when that race can represent what it really is supposedly in a positive way?

Better People

People think if they do things wrong, they are better.

The Chinese weren't the ones who hurt the Jews.

Jews use the Holocaust as a tool to say they deserve more pity than the Chinese, even though I know for instance I'm Chinese-Indonesian and we've been murdered in our homes AND told we are the most hated people, before the Holocaust.

So, it's used as a tool for the Jews to say they're better than the Chinese, as though the Chinese were the ones who killed the Jews.

So, I'm pretty jealous of the Jews because they are like the Middle Easterners. If I have Jew blood from my dad's mom, I'm okay, though.

2 New Photos of Me

Flickr

Something New

Have you ever really heard of your conscience telling you you have to be mean to someone that much for having a misunderstanding and doing something wrong?  I think it all connects to race and jealousy if someone is going to be too mean.

You can dis the crime but not the person.

To act like something matters ...

... did anyone ever turn it into a huge insult of you?

People act like they care about looking good.

Losing in Relationships

Whenever I feel it's like you're supposed to say something risqué because you're feeling awkward, though you don't want to, you know though like just this once until things smooth out ... like, someone can tell what you did even if there's like no way they could know literally.

"White"

Why would someone consider being less white to being more white than you when you actually like being "white?"

What Makes up Life

Did you ever have people bothering you as something precious?

Getting Back for Nothing

People who have the wrong values think that one of said values is broken that they can do something wrong and cloak it as doing the same thing you did to them.

Well...

Now, is my big time to catch up on my personal life, and I just feel some people are in my face, if not most people I see.

Do you ever feel people are coming to get you?

Like, 1st, they try to hide that they want what you have.  Next, they embarrass you.  Then, they think they can hide getting from you what they consider payback.

It's like why are they in my life?

Twitter

I'm too overwhelmed for Twitter right now, for some reason.  I might fall asleep, too.