Saturday, May 12, 2012
It seems
people want me to stop and rest. I wonder if they saw my temper escalate or if it's because my brother is moderating the environment now home from college.
People
People of high standards always seem to want to get low in dirty in reality and not in what would seem like the normal desire.
I just don't know...
...if I should keep calling my grandma every day or not. I am kinda tired. I shouldn't wake myself up now.
That's too bad...
...some people have a default way of functioning against you. That doesn't make sense. That's racist.
It just seems like now is the time to take a stand.
If I don't feel like talking to my grandma, it seems I should just not call. For awhile, I wasn't even talking to her, at all.
Doing a Real One
People in Florida are so fake.
I mean, you can't just say that things have to stay the same when there are problems. Life isn't that simple, even in Florida.
I mean, you can't just say that things have to stay the same when there are problems. Life isn't that simple, even in Florida.
Lives
No one should give up their lives for being a stereotype of their generation. That's only a guide map.
I don't know why people find pleasure and joy in finding I'm in trouble.
It was all a misunderstanding.
Even if it's dangerous...
...I thought the couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online, it's more dangerous to spread the rumor. I didn't really have problems when no one knew. I mean, I could have. Still, I thought it was wanted. It doesn't seem anyone should admit that, though.
Regret
Because Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have families is why I regret posting about them, though I can still see it's the right thing to do.
Everyday Life
People seem to give up their lives in order for the ones they love. Bad things still happen.
I can imagine taking care of a family, but I'd see it in a more crude way.
I can imagine taking care of a family, but I'd see it in a more crude way.
I've lost over 5 years of my life to this nonsense.
Sure, it's improved, but it's not like I couldn't figure it out, in the end.
Out of Character
It's in the genes of some people to wipe out your memory, somehow, and do things, instead of you, like they don't have their own identity...
Fame
I don't like the way people are testy that you be in a rush to get famous, like they're not going to improve.
I was always considered a cut above the average.
Why try to test and tear me down now? The parents are already okay with it. Why try to convince them otherwise? It's not going to happen, again. I wouldn't mind being called the "n" word. However, the truth is that it would make the person calling me that feel bad, even if I did it on purpose to them 1st.
I also notice...
...that the people care more about and are nicer to the little girl than, in ways, they ever were to me.
It seems this is the fault of people who were mean to me in school.
It seems this is the fault of people who were mean to me in school.
I do feel so bad about it and did right away and deleted it, since I could.
I thought they thought it was funny. I think it was done so it wouldn't happen by accident and be all my fault. That's not normal, though. Who does that? Whose idea was this? It seemed unnecessary.
I guess people randomly feel like punishing me.
I honestly think it's a fetish. It's because I thought a couple and others wanted me to call the couple's 2-year-old daughter the "n" word on the internet. I wish they had it together, like figured that's what happened, rather than try to test if I'm guilty for a few years, lingering on it as punishment to make the little girl feel better. I don't think I'd have done it, though, if I didn't feel like I got a sign to do something weird like that. 1st, they did send my a symbol that I was the "n" word, which seems as good as saying it. I got a weird feeling I wasn't welcome as a fan of the father, and, for some reason, it felt like I had to ask why the girlfriend was with him if she had brown hair. The father seems to be for the "American dream" of blonde hair for the girls. Also, the girlfriend is part Jewish, which I found cool, and I'm part Chinese-Indonesian. That was very unnecessary and done for fun. I'm not in total trouble, but it's like I can't focus sometimes and can't make a point.
My Videos
Hooray! It might be time to get a new account ... though I could transfer my blog, though I have a feeling I don't have to. I like starting over, and I just do if I get a new account, often.
I'm yawning.
Anyway, my videos seem kinda lame. I liked the ones from the night before, better.
Now that my brother's home, I guess I'll be spending more time alone in my room. Normally, I'd be sleeping now, in this case, too.
Who'd care about me, online? I used to be interesting, more. Now, I'm not, in a way. The proper thing for me to do would be to eventually fall asleep and, then, go jogging, though I feel too sluggish to attain that end.
I'm yawning.
Anyway, my videos seem kinda lame. I liked the ones from the night before, better.
Now that my brother's home, I guess I'll be spending more time alone in my room. Normally, I'd be sleeping now, in this case, too.
Who'd care about me, online? I used to be interesting, more. Now, I'm not, in a way. The proper thing for me to do would be to eventually fall asleep and, then, go jogging, though I feel too sluggish to attain that end.
If I could, I would go back to sleep.
I feel somewhat fulfilled online. I was just up. I was thinking my alarm would work. Maybe, I can catch up on "The Secret Circle" or watch videos with Viggo Mortensen in them. Oh yea, I wanted to watch Grease.
Alarm Clock
I just sent my dad an e-mail to get me an alarm clock. I ran out of money getting the vampire costume.
Oh no!
My cell alarm didn't wake me up again. I was supposed to go out for Mother's Day with my family for lunch!
I thought it was really set up.
I mean how parents are of an older generation, not the same generation.
Me as a Baby
I think I got in trouble in that picture of me holding my hand out. That was what I was talking about earlier tonight. Ugh. I'm a bit tired|sore.
I'm gonna pick an outfit for tomorrow and take a shower|bath.
I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I want to sing.
So, as far as guilt goes, my day was a little flawed, though I still got through. I think things will be better, tomorrow. I just have to deal with it.
I think me taking a shower and getting ready and doing more singing and talking on video will make me feel better. Sometimes, I wonder who all is watching this. I watch it. It's probably too much for the average onlooker. It's probably overwhelming to find I did it. I know that I get better each time I do it, though. I saw my singing was getting better. I kinda just want to sit and watch what I did already and maybe not record so much this time. Sometimes, it's fun to sing a lot. The talking gets tedious from me for some reason. I haven't been talking as much lately. It might have used to have been better, not sure.
I guess I just have to be ready tomorrow.
I regret how the days haven't gone perfectly, for different reasons, but for some reason I'm still holding on.
Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower.
So, as far as guilt goes, my day was a little flawed, though I still got through. I think things will be better, tomorrow. I just have to deal with it.
I think me taking a shower and getting ready and doing more singing and talking on video will make me feel better. Sometimes, I wonder who all is watching this. I watch it. It's probably too much for the average onlooker. It's probably overwhelming to find I did it. I know that I get better each time I do it, though. I saw my singing was getting better. I kinda just want to sit and watch what I did already and maybe not record so much this time. Sometimes, it's fun to sing a lot. The talking gets tedious from me for some reason. I haven't been talking as much lately. It might have used to have been better, not sure.
I guess I just have to be ready tomorrow.
I regret how the days haven't gone perfectly, for different reasons, but for some reason I'm still holding on.
Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower.
Settled
I'm settled about parents's ages. I guess you just think of it in a different way at some points, though essentially things should be the same. I am a little concerned about having an older mother, I guess, though. It seems like people with a more older mother than otherwise possible often have to go through something else. I'm guessing they feel more or aren't afraid to feel things and feel them the right way, though people with young moms are probably pretty polished and spick-and-span.
Norwegian Day
So you don't get confused with the party dates if you want to know and look it up, I'll just tell you it's highlight May 17th.
Parents's Ages
I can see little things people with parents of different ages can change for the better that is an aspect of me.
Older Parents
Thinking of my parents as older would make me feel like I'm part of a program for kids. It's because of how developed they are, yet that kids are kids, basically. With younger parents, you feel more like a baby and not a part of some complicated program where you think a lot instead of live. I don't know if people with younger parents really live, in a funny way I think. I'm sure they do. I think it just depends on the parents. It's not fun to turn off because your parents aren't old-fashioned with those roots. It's sad to see the kids of yesterday grow up and not really live. At least, that's how I feel.
Hllary Duff's Parents's Ages
Father: 2010 - 64 = 1945|1946 - now 65|66 - had her at age 42|43
Mother: 2010 - 57 = 1952|1953 - now 58|59 - had her at age 35|36
That's the perfect age to have kids! :)
Mother: 2010 - 57 = 1952|1953 - now 58|59 - had her at age 35|36
That's the perfect age to have kids! :)
Hillary Duff's Parents's Ages
Father: 2010 - 64 = 1945|1946 - now 65|66
Mother: 2010 - 57 = 1952|1953 - now 58|59
Mother: 2010 - 57 = 1952|1953 - now 58|59
For some reason, I didn't withdraw.
I failed 2 semesters at my 1st college, but, 5 years later, they granted me withdrawals. They didn't give me withdrawals, at first, because the rules were different and I think some of the people there were different.
I came home from college in 2006.
I did a short course in the area in later 2006, and I did college online in 2007 but quit withdrew early on in my 2nd semester. I failed the 1st semester because I didn't feel well and took a lot of courses.
Where did all the skinny, perfect babies go?
I remember seeing babies that looked like people. They looked like young babies. Actually, come to think of it, I think I only saw one of them, but who knows. They were so smooth and intelligent. It was a girl. So, I don't know if I've seen the likeness, otherwise. I've seen some beautiful young girls and gentlemen. It's hard to remember. They seem to have, like, a slimy layer of fat, though. I mean, I know we all have fat, but it's just this certain look that used to exist. What happened to all these people? Have they retreated to their homes? I can imagine all the beautiful people out there who are not famous and who I've never met, not having seen many active profiles, online.
When I Lived in a New Orleans Suburb
Here's a picture of one of the people there visiting with people int he city I lived in.
Apparently, at least 2 of the people in blue shirts are foreign volunteers to the city.
You can click on the picture to make it big: article
Here are more: picture picture adult at my high school plus lived in Eastern Texas prior supposedly this person picture.
Something else to note is that the Saints won the Superbowl 2 times ago, but they stopped having dance teams at that, too.
Here are people from Orlando: 1 2 3.
Here's me coming home to just moving to Orlando because of a hurricane in the New Orleans area from going to college at the top of the county in the mid east: picture.
Apparently, at least 2 of the people in blue shirts are foreign volunteers to the city.
You can click on the picture to make it big: article
Here are more: picture picture adult at my high school plus lived in Eastern Texas prior supposedly this person picture.
Something else to note is that the Saints won the Superbowl 2 times ago, but they stopped having dance teams at that, too.
Here are people from Orlando: 1 2 3.
Here's me coming home to just moving to Orlando because of a hurricane in the New Orleans area from going to college at the top of the county in the mid east: picture.
Why do people think being bad is cool?
They think it shows that the world can be diverse in feelings for others so they don't go crazy and to foil them.
Bad Things
They were bad things, but I never said anything too bad to someone's face, like cursing at someone I don't know well. I don't do those things, anymore. Sometimes, people like to say bad things. It's too bad I had the inkling to. I know I was set up by those who "punish" me. People treat me funnily, and I had a hard time trying to finish college and didn't. I'm stuck at year 1.
Akwardness
I got the feeling to say something awkward 5-10 times, and, though everyone knows I don't do things like that, they don't seem to understand. Ever since I was a baby, people could tell I was not perfect. Things weren't as cute in the 80s for people like me.
The 1st Time I Felt
I think I was in trouble when I was a baby. I used to be able to do things without feeling anything, I know. I guess my mom is like that. My dad made me feel something, like kind of warm and tired, when he held me because of how I acted. I didn't like it. I guess, since then, I've felt things.
Something else, I think my hair started getting darker after this one day taking pictures of me at the playground when it was blonde at the ends. It seems my eyes turned brown when I was 4 and it looked good.
It makes me curious how others's lives are put together.
Something else, I think my hair started getting darker after this one day taking pictures of me at the playground when it was blonde at the ends. It seems my eyes turned brown when I was 4 and it looked good.
It makes me curious how others's lives are put together.
I hate it when I have to do a real one.
Because people think I can't make a point because I thought a couple wanted me to call their daughter the "n" word online and I also felt pushed by other people to do it.
Do you want to know something that became very suggestive to me when I was very young?
She's trying to be like everyone else.
Photobucket...
...I can't use the same e-mail address on a new account! So, I might get all new accounts, though, if I want, I can transfer my blog.
Younger People
People who are about 13-18 right now seem to be made to feel better just because of their age and their parents's ages.
Friday, May 11, 2012
I'll be here in awhile but might take a shower before I do Twitter and other things.
I have some pictures to load.
What's essentially wrong?
So, what's essentially wrong with me following suit in calling someone the "n" word like they asked?
Getting to the Bottom of It
It seems like it's important that I stay awake and improve myself as much as possible. I need to get to the bottom of this.
Why blame someone?
I wonder if people were pretending to make themselves look bad. Why blame someone?
Words Words
Why would people not want me to realize the truth as punishment?
Also, the issue is that I need to think through things. It changes my thoughts. I have to use words.
Also, the issue is that I need to think through things. It changes my thoughts. I have to use words.
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