Monday, May 7, 2012
Actually
Actually, someone posted something and made me think that. Good thing I check out what people are posting on the boards I post at. I seem to be getting popular for once in my life.
Oooh.
I'm trying to be interesting. Wait, why did I say that!
Anyway, I realized that the person really did want me to use the "n" word against them if at all possible, but here's the secret. This person wanted me to call the daughter that, who was like 2. So, how do I feel now and what makes my crime so punishable? It was online, not face to face, and I deleted it, and it wasn't even on their board nor with my main of my many accounts.
Anyway, I realized that the person really did want me to use the "n" word against them if at all possible, but here's the secret. This person wanted me to call the daughter that, who was like 2. So, how do I feel now and what makes my crime so punishable? It was online, not face to face, and I deleted it, and it wasn't even on their board nor with my main of my many accounts.
Trying to Get a Job at Disney
I tried to. They said I wasn't outgoing enough and seemed to think I couldn't get a research job.
Big Cities in Rural Areas
I just realized that these places are upstanding and go for the ideal in modern for some reason I don't get. I think it's a lie and made up.
Crying
Not really, but I felt wanter inside my eyes.
How could anyone really know what I did wrong? I'm guessing I'm punished, but I'm too old to be affected by that. I can be affected, though, and I am.
I guess it's already in place who I am. I guess it would affect someone to know what I'm doing and feel they'd do the same thing. I think a lot of people feel that. Most people aren't nice about it then, though. I just had to learn the hard way.
I suppose it would be tacky not to go on to something else. So, what led up to this disrespect? Okay, okay. So, I came back to Orlando from college in New Orleans sometimes, having moved because of the hurricane. I went to Sea World, and I saw this cute sting ray bite another one that could have attacked it. From then on, I started attacking with bad words in a funny way that fit in. For some reason, I got into trouble. I spent money my parents gave me. That's what really started it. Then, one thing led to another. Then, there's this, that, and the other thing. I hit the wall, I mean not bad but once. I don't remember if that was before or after, but probably before, I thought Johnny Depp wanted to be called "stupid." He just acted like it. I didn't want to but got mad and thought he was racist. No one saw, though. I posted it on a board I made for him, and it showed no visitors. What harm is that? It's wrong I did it. Anyway, other than things like that, I seem to have forgotten all I've done. That sting ray is probably dead now. It was so cute. I've lost a lot of opportunities online. College is a bit scary now that I think of all the ghosts I'm seeing. I wish I just stayed home now.
How could anyone really know what I did wrong? I'm guessing I'm punished, but I'm too old to be affected by that. I can be affected, though, and I am.
I guess it's already in place who I am. I guess it would affect someone to know what I'm doing and feel they'd do the same thing. I think a lot of people feel that. Most people aren't nice about it then, though. I just had to learn the hard way.
I suppose it would be tacky not to go on to something else. So, what led up to this disrespect? Okay, okay. So, I came back to Orlando from college in New Orleans sometimes, having moved because of the hurricane. I went to Sea World, and I saw this cute sting ray bite another one that could have attacked it. From then on, I started attacking with bad words in a funny way that fit in. For some reason, I got into trouble. I spent money my parents gave me. That's what really started it. Then, one thing led to another. Then, there's this, that, and the other thing. I hit the wall, I mean not bad but once. I don't remember if that was before or after, but probably before, I thought Johnny Depp wanted to be called "stupid." He just acted like it. I didn't want to but got mad and thought he was racist. No one saw, though. I posted it on a board I made for him, and it showed no visitors. What harm is that? It's wrong I did it. Anyway, other than things like that, I seem to have forgotten all I've done. That sting ray is probably dead now. It was so cute. I've lost a lot of opportunities online. College is a bit scary now that I think of all the ghosts I'm seeing. I wish I just stayed home now.
Ghost
2012-05-07 - 2:54 A.M. - I was typing at my computer about how I thought someone wanted me to call them stupid and I didn't but got mad when I thought they were racist. I saw a white fuzzy irregular circle float at a downward incline above my computer screen. It looked like some of the ghosts they show frequehtly on "Ghost Adventures" that try to blend in as dust.
Ghost
2012-05-07 - night - I was jogging and know when I was looking down I saw a black figure. It was big and was like a rectangle with a triangle cut out with two triangles on the side sticking out at the top and bottom. For some reason, I have the illusion that the top and bottom are small, like 1 1|2 feet. It might have been 10 feet long and 5 feet wide. This startled me. It gave me the feeling of it like quickly bouncing from side to side. It was quite black. I really saw this.
Ghost
2012-05-07 - night - I was jogging and know when I was looking down I saw a black figure. It was big and was like a rectangle with a triangle cut out with two triangles on the side sticking out at the top and bottom. For some reason, I have the illusion that the top and bottom are small, like 1 1|2 feet. It might have been 10 feet long and 5 feet wide. This startled me.
Movie Star
What would be nice about being a movie star would be that I could take a break. I can't see myself wanting to be in more than 1 movie every year or 2.
More Generous
Because of my looking into my problems, people seem to have like backed off. It's a wonder what's come over me. I think people are getting tired of bothering me with not thinking. Maybe, the food is helping.
I don't like 2-sided things.
I wonder why doing bad things is considered cool but is cause for alarm. I don't mean very bad things, just things that aren't good.
My Nose
I guess, sometimes, my nose looks big, and, sometimes, my nose looks smaller. At least it's a strong nose. }:] You know what I'm thinking.
I think I just lined up my "evening."
I don't know what I will do for a purpose in life tonight, though. Maybe, my shower'll do it. Why not sing?
The Problem
The problem is just that I thought someone wanted me to call them the "n" word! I know I'm always right. I was set straight as a baby.
Me Not Thinking
That's funny. I don't think that's possible. I know who in my life thought up that one for thinking someone wanted me to call them the "n" word. Like, I'm surrounded by this aura that I can't process anything unless it's for unraveling a criticism. I've learned not to curse, but this world is just impossible.
I just watched a bunch of episodes of "The Ellen Degeneres Show."
I watched all the episodes with Reese Witherspoon. I don't mean to be too forward, but Reese Witherspoon was born in New Orleans because her father was going to school there. She moved to Germany for 4 years and then Tennessee. Ellen Degeneres is from a suburb of New Orleans. I lived in a suburb of New Orleans when I was 12-19. It hasn't shaped who I am much. Well, Ellen Degeneres moved to Texas when she was 16 but went to college in New Orleans. So did I, but I didn't finish and we moved because of the hurricane. So, I was pretty much as mature as I ever was when I was 11. I wonder if it's because I moved that I stopped. I did change and have personal experiences, but I was alone a lot. I felt identity-less. I ended up looking like different types of stereotypes as the years went on. I did develop as an adult there and got into personality, like from books, because in Florida before I moved I got into the quizzes in popular magazines. I started things like theater and got back into some ballet. I was very busy in high school, but I wish I weren't, now. It was kinda worth it, but I should have not stopped eating healthily in high school. I think my mom tried to stop me, but I was unstoppable. I thought the little lunches they sold were cute, and I never had the main meals in the cafeteria because I had clubs at lunch. The main ones I hold onto in memory are drama and laureate, which were quite awesome the 1st year, for me, actually. Things were sorta okay the 1st year, but I wasn't into the right things. I followed my roots of liking all the arts and became a romantic type, actually. 1 saving grace is my holding onto my nasally voice. I think I've always had 1. It's just an attractive way to be, and I'm selfish enough to achieve it is all. No one takes me seriously, though. Maybe, that's why. I sometimes try to sound like I can get out of it, but I can't. It's a real stuck thing. I don't play with it alone, neither. I think if I never moved to the New Orleans area that I would be playing with it right now. Okay, I'm back. What was I talking about?... Oh, yes, New Orleans. So, I don't know what train of thought I was on. I guess my problem was always food. I dieted when I was almost 16. It was hard. I ate like natural foods and stuff. I did get pretty skinny. I had another phase of being healthy when I was 18 and 19, too. I ate a lot when I was 18 of healthy food. When I was 19 and home from college for the summer, I slimmed up some even more. I was getting more sleep. I came home from college and got more sleep later on, but I had gained a lot of weight from doing ballet instead of the gym and not eating extremely healthy. So, anyway, I guess I needed more food, but I was was 16 and wanted to be a princess, not a tomboy. I guess I should have just eaten more healthily more often and changed my schedule to something else. My mom made good supper. She packed me good lunches, too. I lost a lot of sleep so at the time didn't prepare my own food much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)