Christina Barrett

Sunday, May 13, 2012

I was gonna get rid of the ads for $3, but I don't have any money on my card. I spent it on the vampire costume. I might be able to put money on it, today.

New Pictures of Me

http://photobucket.com/Christina--Barrett

Behind My Back

People now act like they didn't, but I know they made the decision to go behind my back and not let me live life as well before in my relationships. Why not? It's there. I know I'm right, though.

Punishment

Just because someone else was punished doesn't mean they have to go crazy on me. )8

...the circumstance of thinking a couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online to make the word seem fun, then what's there to teach me? I already have the benefit of knowing not to listen when people try to cut me short like that.

I'm anticipating making the right decision...

...about new accounts.

Something I'm Gonna Do Anyway

I guess some people are sorry for me. I don't know if I need that.

The message just wouldn't stop.

I was already crazy posting online to people I think stalking my habits.

I guess some people wouldn't sense that.

How can this be!?

I was so freaked out when I got the message. I knew nothing would be right.

Pity for Being Called the "N" Word

That does exist.

Guilt

You were called the "n" word. So what? You weren't made to believe you were guilty of calling someone that who wanted to for fun but wanted you to do it as a hint a lot.

I think the whole conspiracy is a big misunderstanding.

It probably seems romantic...

...to think someone wants to call each other the "n" word for fun. I didn't get called back, so I feel bad, but now we realize it doesn't feel good to promote that kind of behavior. It might be nice to know me the little girl is innocent.

Can you believe I would do this?

I lost the account ChristinaBarrett at Photobucket.

I can set this up.

There's a certain attitude you're supposed to have.

I know whose fault it is...

...back in December 9, 2009, we didn't have it set up that if someone was trying to send you messages to call them the "n" word that you don't do it.

Antsy

Some people have been getting antsy about me in defense of others. Me getting mad sometimes is what ruins it. Some people are just antsy about it. Like, I guess it shouldn't happen, but I shouldn't be punished for it. It's not my fault. My kids won't be like that!

I seem to be in trouble for...

...not trusting people to be nice with me because usually these kinds of people get attacked. Some people just know a lot about what's going on. I wonder what it is.

Not Much Time

There was an interesting turn of events in 2011. So, in a way, it's not so much time. Still, me thinking a couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online to make the word not scary early on ... what was I gonna say? ... is not reason to steal my life like jail. I lost the feeling of what I was saying when I retyped what happened. It seems that the fantasy of me being tortured is going away and has for some time. Also, in 2010, I was in the mental hospital for a month. So, I was coming to terms with that actually happening, probably. I've been to one before. Never go there! It was okay when I was 16, but in Orlando it was horrible! I know it's better when you're under 18, too, though. It just seems like my life has stopped up since I was recommended out of my major and had to leave school from not being able to focus.

How will things ever be set straight?

Strange

It's strange how this's wrapped up so conveniently at this time. Things are still not so hot, though. I had problems already. My life is still in line, somehow. It wasn't for awhile. I'm feeling better all the time, in ways. I dieted for awhile, but I guess I just needed to quit eating pizza all the time.

So, what happened was...

...I thought the couple wanted me to call their daughter the "n" word on the internet to make the word seem like just another word early on. Why would I actually sit there and believe that? I have other issues about not doing things like that, too. I am into being different, and I had ingrained in my head that curse words were okay, in a way, if they are not used against other people, at the time. I think it was ingrained years back. It was like a plan for one day. So, this message was not good. I was ready to live. I was already 23 1|2. Now, I'm gonna be 26. I regret this happening, but my life has also improved in some ways. I regret it, anyway, for what it is, of course. I'm a bit mad, though, that this has affected my life. This was a special time for me, but it's not so special anymore. I guess it was kinda okay but not all I dreamed. I am strangely happy to have discovered that I like "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." So, I lost 2010, 2011, and 1|2 of 2012. Now, that's a lot of time, almost as long as it was since coming home from college.

Something I Didn't Do

No, I always was a good person. The only reason I was saucy and snooty was because people wondered what life was if we were all good and there was no bad, like what happened and why doesn't it seem as exciting at 1st, like what happened to all the drama and fantasy about being good and having bad guys to defeat. So, that deals with that.

People think there is some stone left unturned, but I have seen magic. I get messages from other ways of life. Or got. I decided to experience this side of reality, basically, go back and set things right.

The Problem

The problem with me solved from going to the New Orleans area was the little things, like eating and people being nice. In Florida, it was like about safety and being cool and understanding your wealth.

My Picture

Picture

I was wondering if it was too flamboyant.

I also wonder, since I thought a couple really|maybe wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online to make the word seem not so scary, that I shouldn't be looking so hot. With other people, I do believe in forgiveness. I understand with me people are uncomfortable. I've lost some qualities about how I look that I liked, but apparently I've gained others. The couple does not wish ill on me. No one does, ultimately. I probably will tone down, but in a way I already have. That's probably what's happening. On me, the look doesn't look natural in some ways. I wish I looked more like that. I feel I'm developing qualities of where I'm from where I no longer live. Why does it look so much like I'm from New Orleans and not Orlando? That's because it matters that I didn't always live here. Orlando is a real place, even though the people here seem downtrodden, perhaps from the many insults I've thrown at in, which weren't really insults but defenses in how I was treated as far as racism goes. I stay home and get stronger, too. I do still like going out, though. I guess I'm not so much since my brother is home from college and I'm clearing the way from the house some it seems. It's so hard to believe it's true it's like I'm from New Orleans or the area now living in Orlando. In New Orleans, I was always the Floridian but not in a cool way. The possibilities are endless! It's hard being from a big city, probably how I got into trouble, yea. I just wanted to be safe and live in a small town. Now, I want to be a famous movie actress, but who doesn't? So, I guess we'll just see how things go and just keep going and hope nothing comes up. At least, I will. I can't expect other people to look after me. Time for a snack!

Lately From Orlando and New Orleans

I live in Orlando now. I've been in this area for 6-7 years, Orlando for 4-5 years. I lived in a New Orleans suburb for 6 years and went to college in New Orleans for about 2 years.

Orlando

New Orleans

Well, I just finished folding the towels!

:) Whooh!

Will the internet always be this fresh?

We were pioneers in the great frontierrr!

I wonder why some people look like me when I was younger.

Huh.

Copying Other Parents and Influencing Me

Why doesn't my dad think my mom made me the silly baby I was?

Also, just because other parents claim their kids are bad, that doesn't mean you can do it to me. Also, I don't care if my brother is different. I always wanted what was best for him. I'm not going to change who I am.

How My Dad Looks into Me

He thinks it's like a strict thing to say I'm like a joke. Sometimes, he's nice, but he just gets to feeling in a rut about the things I did wrong as misunderstandings, like thinking my life in college was an experiment and having to come home.

Was

I guess people do have to admit these days that once I was happily content to be ... as I was ... where I was ... close to the people who were close to me ... here in the home I love ...

Haha, that's a song. I saw the real thing.

Anyway, so, you can say in general I'm good. I just thought a couple wanted me to call their 2-year-old daughter the "n" word online as an ice breaker and to make the word really seem not that bad for some reason. I look into things, but I do get them wrong, though ultimately correct other than this. I feel I was pushed. I feel that the topic would get worse. I wish I knew then how to say no, I don't care, or no, I'm sorry. What happens when a person really gets confused like that? I used to be very much a perfectionist and, upon thinking my life was an experiment, seeing some magic things, and coming home to live with my family, I've only gotten better...