Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Growing an Arm
When I went to school at the crack of the Great Lakes at a northern point of Ohio, lots of strange things happened.
When I lie on my bed and my eyes felt like they were glued shut, my hands, a few times, hardened up, the skeleton. It hurt so much, but it felt good after.
I saw a very complex mechanical bug crawl in through like a square hole in the ground while I waited for my laundry. It crawled around some and disappeared. I don't know why I didn't take it. I think next time I would.
When I lay in my bed, my left arm was glued to my eyes. My right forearm I could feel grew a foot and back in under a minute. It hurt so much, but I felt so good for a long time after. I still "feel good." I grew up down south. This was college, my 2nd year.
Another thing to take note is I was stuck in bed with my back like jelly for 3 days. It's too bad I didn't use the bathroom enough 1st. I had all kinds of sensations. I was led to believe I had 3 devils around me, but with a sense of humor and intelligence.
When I lie on my bed and my eyes felt like they were glued shut, my hands, a few times, hardened up, the skeleton. It hurt so much, but it felt good after.
I saw a very complex mechanical bug crawl in through like a square hole in the ground while I waited for my laundry. It crawled around some and disappeared. I don't know why I didn't take it. I think next time I would.
When I lay in my bed, my left arm was glued to my eyes. My right forearm I could feel grew a foot and back in under a minute. It hurt so much, but I felt so good for a long time after. I still "feel good." I grew up down south. This was college, my 2nd year.
Another thing to take note is I was stuck in bed with my back like jelly for 3 days. It's too bad I didn't use the bathroom enough 1st. I had all kinds of sensations. I was led to believe I had 3 devils around me, but with a sense of humor and intelligence.
Knife
I wasn't startled, at all. I just knew I didn't do it and was like oh well at the time. Too bad I don't have anything I can prove. I can't reprove growing.
I guess I do have to "get it out."
When I talk to my grandma, I find that like twice so far I start to sound evil about an elder of mine. I know it won't happen again with the same person because I can hardly remember what I just was like this time.
I don't like that, though. I was just feeling tacky. I feel a little funny today. Last night, I was waking up every hour to see what number IMDb was on with profiles. I didn't even gauge how far away it was and didn't need to be waking up. When I slept a lot once, I got to be about 5'5" and weighed one of my lightest weights. Normally, I'm up to 5'4", so it was like a dream come true. This time, I looked like I could be 5'6" if I stretched out. I measured again later to show my mom and saw I really was about that tall. When I slept a lot that other time, I slept about 1 1|2 days. I did wake up twice, at least.
Also, like I said earlier, yesterday, I saw a dark figure of a human similar to the way they look in what they catch on "Ghost Adventures." After I saw that show after taking a long break, I felt incited to see a ghost and saw something that looked like Tinkerbell from the musical Peter Pan. There was no way that could have been from anywhere near. I was in view of windows, but when I checked I knew there was no way that light could have moved there on the cupboard. Today, I had the pancake mix in a box and it wasn't near a knife on a plate, and the knife jiggled and fell off. I can't believe that people on TV calmly say like they saw a box of cracker jacks spin around and not act frightened.
I don't like that, though. I was just feeling tacky. I feel a little funny today. Last night, I was waking up every hour to see what number IMDb was on with profiles. I didn't even gauge how far away it was and didn't need to be waking up. When I slept a lot once, I got to be about 5'5" and weighed one of my lightest weights. Normally, I'm up to 5'4", so it was like a dream come true. This time, I looked like I could be 5'6" if I stretched out. I measured again later to show my mom and saw I really was about that tall. When I slept a lot that other time, I slept about 1 1|2 days. I did wake up twice, at least.
Also, like I said earlier, yesterday, I saw a dark figure of a human similar to the way they look in what they catch on "Ghost Adventures." After I saw that show after taking a long break, I felt incited to see a ghost and saw something that looked like Tinkerbell from the musical Peter Pan. There was no way that could have been from anywhere near. I was in view of windows, but when I checked I knew there was no way that light could have moved there on the cupboard. Today, I had the pancake mix in a box and it wasn't near a knife on a plate, and the knife jiggled and fell off. I can't believe that people on TV calmly say like they saw a box of cracker jacks spin around and not act frightened.
At Least
At least, I didn't curse everyone out in my head at the store. There was this one guy in the frozen section muttering curse words under his breath. Curse words did come up to me. I have one good defense, "perv." That's a defensive word and better than a curse word.
When I Do Something Very Wrong
I wonder if people now quit presenting me with certain ideas to get smarter and now just want to do it until it hurts. I guess they get tired and stop.
Different
I guess I have to accept what other people transmit to me. I can't be like them and when they tell me they can't be nice to me because I've been too bad they can tell, when really it was all just misunderstandings and I believe not as bad in a way as what I've sensed from other people in what they've done. I was considered and acknowledged already as a set pristine person.
What You Wish For ... Will Come True?
When people want to live in another world, it's just a modified version of this one, them not making mistakes and being bad!
I feel a little naughty.
It's hard for me to temper my thoughts right now. The TV is on. My dad is watching "Hardball," a political show. I would watch it with him. I was helping him with the yard after we got back from the store. We had fun, then. I'm glad IMDb doesn't seem to break down. I'll probably post on there to cool down and learn more social skills and how to deal with things. I think I'm just gonna accept what comes my way. I guess I just had to wind down. I am not normally quite this ridiculous. I try to be nice but interesting. I'm usually pretty steadfast in being a goody-good. I didn't think of it that way before, though. I just thought that you had to be humble and submissive.
Thinking of other things now I should jot down, I don't understand why ... I guess I do now. I think people think with my background that acting bad is not an excuse.
So, yea, I used to be kinda like trying to be interesting and have a purpose in life. I feel it was robbed from me in the tumultuous events of the more recent past. I was treated differently when people found out I was half Asian. I've never had people be suggestive to me before much. I think some people couldn't avoid it, in a way. I just wasn't accepted like everyone else. I said I was because I thought that was why I didn't blend in with how most girls my age looked. Now, the past is gone and it's so sad. I started on the internet to post late, age 21. Now, I'm almost 26. It's not late as in age, but I could have seen what it was like before. I didn't think to post on the IMDb Message Boards until I got lonely posting about Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movies on MySpace and Facebook. I don't know how the other people got there. It took me a year to do that much. I started posting like one post at a time on the Johnny Depp board for a week or month or few months. I wondered why they got deleted, and I found it was because they get deleted over time. I did look up things on the internet and sorely wanted to IM, but no one would do it with me. My 1st times, I did find an interesting board on penguins. It was a story with penguins in it, and it was so intelligent I couldn't retain it in my head. I should have recorded it, but I lost it and was so sad I just didn't go on the internet and think to post because it was the best opportunity and I lost it.
Thinking of other things now I should jot down, I don't understand why ... I guess I do now. I think people think with my background that acting bad is not an excuse.
So, yea, I used to be kinda like trying to be interesting and have a purpose in life. I feel it was robbed from me in the tumultuous events of the more recent past. I was treated differently when people found out I was half Asian. I've never had people be suggestive to me before much. I think some people couldn't avoid it, in a way. I just wasn't accepted like everyone else. I said I was because I thought that was why I didn't blend in with how most girls my age looked. Now, the past is gone and it's so sad. I started on the internet to post late, age 21. Now, I'm almost 26. It's not late as in age, but I could have seen what it was like before. I didn't think to post on the IMDb Message Boards until I got lonely posting about Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movies on MySpace and Facebook. I don't know how the other people got there. It took me a year to do that much. I started posting like one post at a time on the Johnny Depp board for a week or month or few months. I wondered why they got deleted, and I found it was because they get deleted over time. I did look up things on the internet and sorely wanted to IM, but no one would do it with me. My 1st times, I did find an interesting board on penguins. It was a story with penguins in it, and it was so intelligent I couldn't retain it in my head. I should have recorded it, but I lost it and was so sad I just didn't go on the internet and think to post because it was the best opportunity and I lost it.
When That Something Upsets Me
I think I will try to just take it now. It's hard to not react and wonder. I think I am allowed to wonder kinda, though, for some reason...
Getting It Out
I don't feel like I want to get anything out. When I stomped my foot one of the times at the grocery store today, I didn't plan on it. When I went to see Think Like a Man, I couldn't believe how affected I was by the person sitting next to me. I just couldn't stand it. The movie was exactly 2 hours long, too. So, I moved to the very front side. After I moved, I heard the whole theater laughing a lot of times. At one point, I got very happy and felt like there was something around me. Something else happened today. I was in the kitchen, and the knife just moved off the plate. Last night, I saw a black figure like they show in "Ghost Adventures" go across the street from where I ran from a gun.
The sad thing is I feel cool for stomping my feet and I think other people did as well. I got mad that it mattered if I sounded even a little like when I make a noise like it says "lesbian" and all the time people are sounding like those words about me, but like saying it but not really, like taking it back. It seems silly to follow. I guess it's just a precaution so it doesn't come full out. I'm trying to cope with it like that, but I know somehow, as soon as I do, it will become stronger, not necessarily if I keep my temper.
The other sad thing is I feel better too after doing that, like I know to cool down. I know something will upset me. I think my dad doesn't care so much because it made the trip more interesting. I wasn't acting like a baby. I just kinda stomped my foot. It was pretty deliberate, though.
The sad thing is I feel cool for stomping my feet and I think other people did as well. I got mad that it mattered if I sounded even a little like when I make a noise like it says "lesbian" and all the time people are sounding like those words about me, but like saying it but not really, like taking it back. It seems silly to follow. I guess it's just a precaution so it doesn't come full out. I'm trying to cope with it like that, but I know somehow, as soon as I do, it will become stronger, not necessarily if I keep my temper.
The other sad thing is I feel better too after doing that, like I know to cool down. I know something will upset me. I think my dad doesn't care so much because it made the trip more interesting. I wasn't acting like a baby. I just kinda stomped my foot. It was pretty deliberate, though.
Americans
It really is different from the rest of the world. That's how it is to me, at least. I feel like a different species or kinda un-European.
I think my dad's dad's side has rich Irish culture. They migrated here around 1900 I think. I guess the rest of my American ancestors are from the 1800s or 1700s.
I think my dad's dad's side has rich Irish culture. They migrated here around 1900 I think. I guess the rest of my American ancestors are from the 1800s or 1700s.
Weird
It's so weird that I want to be like an English girl, and I can't because I stop short when I realize my mom has European culture and learned the British accent. Then, it's just like being it, but I'm not all it. Even though she is Chinese-Indonesian with rich Dutch culture, it still is the same as like an Indian to an American. People from out of America just have this certain way of being, but my dad is American so I say it with being pretty American. :|
More TV
I still need to catch up on "The Secret Circle." It has an actor I like, Gale Harold.
I had liked watching "Late Show With David Letterman." He had Viggo Mortensen on his show.
I had liked watching "Late Show With David Letterman." He had Viggo Mortensen on his show.
"The Talk" - Julie Andrews
So, Julie Andrews was on "The Talk." I really enjoyed that. They talked about her performing. They also showed her new book. It was so cool to see her. Sharon Osborne usually hosts it but wasn't there this time. There was one English lady there. I look forward to seeing more of Julie Andrews.
"The Ellen Show"
I saw "The Ellen Show" for the 1st time. I've seen her on the internet, though, like the interviews. It actually made me have to laugh, and it's so weird because nothing actually does that. I admit recently some things did in relationships. I'll probably try to watch this every day. It's on at a good time for me. She and her show are so valuable. It's very good.
Help!
I've been getting upset, things piling up of interactions gone wrong. I went to the grocery store, with my dad. There was this dark woman with a half African-American daughter from dance, and she gave me bad vibes. I think I stomped my foot, but I don't remember. People sounded like they were calling me gay and stuff and I stomped my foot then. I don't know what happened, but it sure hurt.
Post Edit
I'd been editing the 1st post about the dog.
http://christinabarrett--86.blogspot.com/2012/04/punishment.html
http://christinabarrett--86.blogspot.com/2012/04/punishment.html
MySpace Edit: Race
I specified that the Scottish-Canadian said born "on the Atlantic."
https://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett
https://www.myspace.com/christina-barrett
Website Edit
I specified in my last picture that I was at Disney World. I'm not sure why I didn't say that before.
http://cb-methroughtheyears.weebly.com
http://cb-methroughtheyears.weebly.com
Ruin Their Lives
People find that someone was not perfect but not mean, and then they say oh well and ruin their lives.
Attractive
People present themselves as a stereotype and do something wrong. They realize they aren't as attractive but are happy as long as in the end they get the dominance in the situation.
"Punishment"
I am not the kind of person to be fascinated with having made any mistakes to feel a 24 hour a day sense of punishment.
Now, the dog is acting differently. It's my brother's dog. My mom used to put him in their bedroom, but I know it makes the room smell. I should be outta where I was, though. I need to make lunch for my dad and I, though.
Now, the dog is acting differently. It's my brother's dog. My mom used to put him in their bedroom, but I know it makes the room smell. I should be outta where I was, though. I need to make lunch for my dad and I, though.
Some People
All people do some things wrong and some things right and for different reasons. There's always a reason for everything.
Past
My grandma, my dad's mom, told me to leave the past behind. She actually told me this last night.
What Really Happens, Though
People just have awkward moments with little mistakes and even huge misunderstandings.
News
No one can present me with the news I've done something wrong and themselves remain immune.
I know what I'm doing. If I do something wrong, I should know.
I know what I'm doing. If I do something wrong, I should know.
Because of Me
This just happened to pop in my head when I was thinking about something I thought.
I noticed people like to make a big deal of something because it's me.
I noticed people like to make a big deal of something because it's me.
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