Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The North
Like I said, it's cold, but the thing that is different is, depending on where you are, I dunno. It really depends on the culture. I've never really been to the New England area.
Orlando and the Rest of Florida
Well, it seems that I connected well with Orlando as a Floridian. It's the same spirit.
Something Important About Orlando
Well, I am from Florida, but it's important here to know you're not really from Orlando if you weren't a kid here or something.
Where I Grew Up and How I Think
I don't know. It's a combination of where I lived when I was very little, which I remember well the feel, and when I was a preteen and at my peak of existence in some ways.
Other Areas
Johnny Depp gives me warm and fuzzy feelings. I know he has Kentucky roots, probably like I have Pennsylvanian roots. I used to watch the Dallas Cowboys Texas Cheerleaders. I have certain feelings about that, as well. One is that it seems more like the great west, like California. It seems like a more solid form of the New Orleans area. The New Orleans area is actually solid, but since I was from Florida I noticed all along it was on the east side technically and that that side is considered more shallow, lowland, narrow for some reason, etc. I always considered California to be the ultimate solid place. We had a girl in our class when I lived in northeastern Florida in 6th grade from Hollywood. She didn't seem the same. I have a feeling of people from the east being more bony with lose skin. She was like rubber or something and her hair was all white and smooth, but she looked very normal, no freckles, etc. So, I grew up with a great jealousy of L.A. Anyway, Texas always seemed like a big thing both when I was in Florida and the New Orleans area. It seems to have the same kinds of family values as certain areas of Florida, I think the mideast coast more. It seems like the ultimate solution, the completion of solidity of the way the New Orleans area is in the center kinda but technically on the east. There's just this culture of the more west you go the closer you get to L.A.
...Why I'm From Orlando the Most
Well, I used to think I was more from northeastern and southeastern Florida and the New Orleans suburb. However, I've lived in Central Florida from age 19-about 26.
Orlando
It's hard to explain where I'm from at this point. I liked Florida when I first lived in it. I was probably so adamant about the case because I moved to different cities in different regions...
...First, I lived in southeastern Florida. I think I lived where Johnny Depp lived mostly when I was 2. I had a feeling he was from there before I looked him up. I think I kinda knew. That place is risqué. It makes me feel very aroused. I remember it. It wasn't very physical in some ways. I probably could tell that because my parents are from other places. My dad is from northwestern Pennsylvania and southwestern New York state. It's interesting my grandma on my dad's side is from Cyclone, Pennsylvania. I guess that's considered a colder place in Pennsylvania. She lives in southwestern New York state. It's not really too cold. You know ... when I lived in New Orleans, well the area, the wind was so cold that I couldn't breath. I don't know, though. It wasn't very cold in Orlando during the winter. It was to me when I moved here. I remember better northeastern Florida. It was torturingly cold. When I went up north, it just didn't seem that cold. It's different, I think. I was just visiting. When I was up north in November for college, having to withdraw before December, I mean it seemed like the coldest I've been, but for some reason it was a different sensation altogether rather than just a thermometer. I felt like I was in another world. I was already convinced my life was an experiment. It all started with voice class in college. We had this teacher who was very adamant. She was from Minnesota. That's out in the midwest. However, she lived in Germany for 20 years and then New Orleans for 20 years with her husband, who she met, an American, in Germany, as heads of the voice department. Their daughter was 4 years older than me. She still seemed like she was from Minnesota! She was soo funny and soo caring. Her husband went to Harvard for voice. They were good, more intellectual singers. I was surprised the singing wasn't very hard. I was too shy to let it out, like I was too shy to show my Spanish skills. I can type as fast as the Spanish can speak, almost backwards, but I couldn't tell you where one letter is. I just type. It's probably helpful piano and organ that I did. I'm sure of it. I spoke to some girls on IM, though, who typed faster. I can't text with the old phones, neither. I have, but I'm not that fast because I didn't do it, basically, but a few times for fun. I was so sad my friends wouldn't IM with me. You know, I was so excited when that came out. I didn't live in the New Orleans area, though... I moved the year after. So, needless to say, no one K.I.T.
So, what was I saying? (I was out doing something.) Yes, I am trying to explain more where I come from. It's really nice to be Floridian. I know if you're from somewhere else, it seems different, but it's really not. I know because I lived here before and after living in the New Orleans area. I know it's not the same as 1997, though. D: Living in the New Orleans area made me very depressed, and I felt like I was going to die for awhile. After leaving, I'm all about what I learned there. I went up into space metaphorically speaking, though, in the New Orleans area. I thought I was an experiment when I was in college. When I went up north to the Cleveland area, which is at the bend of the Great Lakes, I thought that reality was like magic. I had moved to Orlando, already, but the magic started up north. It continued here for some reason. I don't know if it has something to do with 2005. I kept getting these visions and signals. I think I learned to think like this from doing piano plus organ. I'm pretty sure. It was a good ticket in college. I took voice on the side. That was quite an experience. They had that special group class taught by the lady from Minnesota. I thought I was an experiment because of voice class. It was just a strange experience.
Whooh! I'm tired. I miss out on things changing after 1997. Actually, the reason to me that Florida seemed so good I know when I was there was because I had the experience of living in different areas. I couldn't stand being in just one place in Florida. It was all along the east coast, southeast and northeast. It's kinda like a mini-U.S. really. The northeast is considered like the northeast of the U.S., I guess... The southeast is the only place that has true complete Florida culture. I've been to Key West, and it's like a beach house or something of some sort. I did mark it as a favorite at the time, though, but forget about it now. I didn't live there. I thought my life was an experiment then, that people all were part of it by that time. All the clothes they wore followed a pattern. When I went up north for college, the back of the car labels all meant something. I was sure of it.
Oooh.
I miss Florida!!!~~~ I live in Orlando now! It's kinda obvious I seem to miss the New Orleans suburb the most.
...First, I lived in southeastern Florida. I think I lived where Johnny Depp lived mostly when I was 2. I had a feeling he was from there before I looked him up. I think I kinda knew. That place is risqué. It makes me feel very aroused. I remember it. It wasn't very physical in some ways. I probably could tell that because my parents are from other places. My dad is from northwestern Pennsylvania and southwestern New York state. It's interesting my grandma on my dad's side is from Cyclone, Pennsylvania. I guess that's considered a colder place in Pennsylvania. She lives in southwestern New York state. It's not really too cold. You know ... when I lived in New Orleans, well the area, the wind was so cold that I couldn't breath. I don't know, though. It wasn't very cold in Orlando during the winter. It was to me when I moved here. I remember better northeastern Florida. It was torturingly cold. When I went up north, it just didn't seem that cold. It's different, I think. I was just visiting. When I was up north in November for college, having to withdraw before December, I mean it seemed like the coldest I've been, but for some reason it was a different sensation altogether rather than just a thermometer. I felt like I was in another world. I was already convinced my life was an experiment. It all started with voice class in college. We had this teacher who was very adamant. She was from Minnesota. That's out in the midwest. However, she lived in Germany for 20 years and then New Orleans for 20 years with her husband, who she met, an American, in Germany, as heads of the voice department. Their daughter was 4 years older than me. She still seemed like she was from Minnesota! She was soo funny and soo caring. Her husband went to Harvard for voice. They were good, more intellectual singers. I was surprised the singing wasn't very hard. I was too shy to let it out, like I was too shy to show my Spanish skills. I can type as fast as the Spanish can speak, almost backwards, but I couldn't tell you where one letter is. I just type. It's probably helpful piano and organ that I did. I'm sure of it. I spoke to some girls on IM, though, who typed faster. I can't text with the old phones, neither. I have, but I'm not that fast because I didn't do it, basically, but a few times for fun. I was so sad my friends wouldn't IM with me. You know, I was so excited when that came out. I didn't live in the New Orleans area, though... I moved the year after. So, needless to say, no one K.I.T.
So, what was I saying? (I was out doing something.) Yes, I am trying to explain more where I come from. It's really nice to be Floridian. I know if you're from somewhere else, it seems different, but it's really not. I know because I lived here before and after living in the New Orleans area. I know it's not the same as 1997, though. D: Living in the New Orleans area made me very depressed, and I felt like I was going to die for awhile. After leaving, I'm all about what I learned there. I went up into space metaphorically speaking, though, in the New Orleans area. I thought I was an experiment when I was in college. When I went up north to the Cleveland area, which is at the bend of the Great Lakes, I thought that reality was like magic. I had moved to Orlando, already, but the magic started up north. It continued here for some reason. I don't know if it has something to do with 2005. I kept getting these visions and signals. I think I learned to think like this from doing piano plus organ. I'm pretty sure. It was a good ticket in college. I took voice on the side. That was quite an experience. They had that special group class taught by the lady from Minnesota. I thought I was an experiment because of voice class. It was just a strange experience.
Whooh! I'm tired. I miss out on things changing after 1997. Actually, the reason to me that Florida seemed so good I know when I was there was because I had the experience of living in different areas. I couldn't stand being in just one place in Florida. It was all along the east coast, southeast and northeast. It's kinda like a mini-U.S. really. The northeast is considered like the northeast of the U.S., I guess... The southeast is the only place that has true complete Florida culture. I've been to Key West, and it's like a beach house or something of some sort. I did mark it as a favorite at the time, though, but forget about it now. I didn't live there. I thought my life was an experiment then, that people all were part of it by that time. All the clothes they wore followed a pattern. When I went up north for college, the back of the car labels all meant something. I was sure of it.
Oooh.
I miss Florida!!!~~~ I live in Orlando now! It's kinda obvious I seem to miss the New Orleans suburb the most.
SO MAD
I don't like it how people act like they just can't let me enjoy myself. Ugh! There's some guy here.
Holding It In
People don't let me free to think. I have to quiet my thoughts further. I can't even solve any emotional plethora.
Killing 2 Birds With One Stone ... 3 ...
The same things keep popping up. I guess the issue is unwinding. Then, something else comes into play. Wait, that's the same thing!
My Life
Why do I seem to see people on different levels? I see weak sides and bad sides. Some people seem to feel some pretty powerful stuff. I think that's wrong. My life was more realistic than that.
Different Levels
I don't believe in that.
Anyway, I don't need anyone to ruin my day anymore than it's already been...
Anyway, I don't need anyone to ruin my day anymore than it's already been...
Risqué
How can people find something wrong, and then ...
I mean, how can they encourage it in the 1st place?
I mean, how can they encourage it in the 1st place?
Finding Something Wrong With Me
I don't do anything, and people find I did something wrong, all the time.
People Acting Pompous
People need to stop thinking they need to compensate something with me. I didn't do anything. That's just a selfish suggestion I am worthless. This just doesn't make sense. I want to do things the right way.
Reconciliation and Everything Okay
I do have that thing stressing me out, still. I so wish I could crawl into a hole.
I'll just take things as they come and try to process them myself. I feel somewhat prepared and strong.
Still, people never cease to emit some anger on me, when I want to be left alone.
I don't know actually that things are okay.
I still feel people are treating me badly. This is so annoying.
I'll just take things as they come and try to process them myself. I feel somewhat prepared and strong.
Still, people never cease to emit some anger on me, when I want to be left alone.
I don't know actually that things are okay.
I still feel people are treating me badly. This is so annoying.
Ways People Treat Me
People can't tell me that logic does't apply to me.
There's always a reason for something. Some people do want to do things, though.
People keep forgetting I'm innocent. Even if I were guilty, it would be wrong to torture me. Who knows? What if something else happens?
There's always a reason for something. Some people do want to do things, though.
People keep forgetting I'm innocent. Even if I were guilty, it would be wrong to torture me. Who knows? What if something else happens?
Patterns of Behaving
I notice things that happen when things stick out. They come up later.
Some people do things with a smile.
I notice some people do similar things for no reason in particular.
Some people do things with a smile.
I notice some people do similar things for no reason in particular.
Thankful
I'm more happy than not, but something is stressing me out. I'm tired of the hidden messages of punishment to me. I know this week isn't quite right.
There's no reason for me really to be unhappy. I've learned to be quite self-sufficient. I have a lot I can go to.
I didn't exactly blow up today, but the fact that I have still resonates soundly.
There's no reason for me really to be unhappy. I've learned to be quite self-sufficient. I have a lot I can go to.
I didn't exactly blow up today, but the fact that I have still resonates soundly.
People Looking Down on Me
People are acting like they're more important than me.
People have always been like that. I WAS NOT THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CALL SOMEONE THE "N" WORD, YOU PRISSES. Oh, I don't really have that problem, anymore...
You know, I'm always gonna be mad. I know my dad's dad drank a lot. It's just that all the things that happen get to me, and then I get mad. I do something awkward. It's not cool. I guess it just pops up later.
I can't believe people actually take to heart what happened when I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CALL SOMEONE THE "N" WORD!!!! They wanted me to. I can't believe it. The people involved understand, already. People just don't get it. They don't care if I suffer. I could be having a lot of fun. Don't worry, it's just something specific as to why I'm more stressed than usual. It'll be over soon. It's something I'm doing.
You know, a lot of people are quite sensible around me.
People have always been like that. I WAS NOT THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CALL SOMEONE THE "N" WORD, YOU PRISSES. Oh, I don't really have that problem, anymore...
You know, I'm always gonna be mad. I know my dad's dad drank a lot. It's just that all the things that happen get to me, and then I get mad. I do something awkward. It's not cool. I guess it just pops up later.
I can't believe people actually take to heart what happened when I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CALL SOMEONE THE "N" WORD!!!! They wanted me to. I can't believe it. The people involved understand, already. People just don't get it. They don't care if I suffer. I could be having a lot of fun. Don't worry, it's just something specific as to why I'm more stressed than usual. It'll be over soon. It's something I'm doing.
You know, a lot of people are quite sensible around me.
It wasn't me!
Stop thinking I ruined your life!
You know, for some reason, my life isn't quite so ruined in the same way.
You know, for some reason, my life isn't quite so ruined in the same way.
Innocent!
You know, I'm sick and tired of everyone being mean to me and trying to make me feel guilty!!!
Punishment
Who invented the idea that, if you do something wrong, something bad should happen to you? I mean, after you realize it's wrong and know why you did it, I thought the "punishment" was over.
Didn't Want to Do Anything Wrong
Funny I never wanted to do anything wrong. What is punishable is if you want to do something wrong. Some people haven't processed that I didn't actually want to call someone the "n" word. Other people, including the person themself, wanted me to. No one cares. They don't. They shouldn't have wanted me to. If someone wants you to do something, you do it.
Contacts
I'll get the specific prescriptions next week. I don't know why the ones I have now are working out.
My Old Thinking ...
You are not a product of what other people decide for you. Am I right? Am I right?
Guilty
I don't get people who think they do nothing wrong but do something that's generally wrong to you just because of something you thought.
I can't believe it.
I guess I'll announce it publicly that when the old star of "Dark Shadows" died, sometime around then I guess he said something like, "It's a comedy?" I tried to look it up online but didn't find anything. He was saying this about this new big movie of it that is coming out that Johnny Depp produced and Tim Burton directed. Johnny Depp was the star.
cont.
She said she'd dilate my eyes the next time, too.
Something special, too, was I wore a purple shirt. I used to be VioletEyes online. I had some blue sparkly nail polish and used that, too, but it's hard to get off because of the sparkles.
Something special, too, was I wore a purple shirt. I used to be VioletEyes online. I had some blue sparkly nail polish and used that, too, but it's hard to get off because of the sparkles.
What People in Orlando Would Do to Ruin Your Day
Okay, so my mom was driving me to get my eye exam since I was sick. Also, she paid for it. We saw an African-American woman looking sarcastic, and to my mind came the "n" word. When I grew up, this word never reached my consciousness. I didn't really think of it. She seemed startled, but I wasn't looking at her. She could tell when we crossed. :( I thought she was snickering at me. Later, at the eye place I even thought of a feeling worse than any curse word. I can still kind of do it. I can feel it out in Orlando right now.
Okay ... So ... I got to the eye place, and, because of who I am, they acted like a little mean, like maybe said a word with an "n" in it on purpose. Oh my! I just had it come to mind because someone was trying to hurt me emotionally. Some things are okay, but I know this was out of place. I think everyone would think so.
So, I opened my contact lens case and it was a package, and I thought it wouldn't have what I need.
Anyway, I became upset when my eye doctor this time said she only dilates every 3 years normally when usually I get it every time. I thought she said that to mean gay. She explained this time why she wanted me to wear my old glasses at the computer, too. It was so I wouldn't get strained and shocked, like. We left the lens stuff at the place, and we were at Subway. She came in and gave it to us. It's funny she saw us there.
So, what was bad was I was thinking of curse words there. They could tell what it was, too.
Okay ... So ... I got to the eye place, and, because of who I am, they acted like a little mean, like maybe said a word with an "n" in it on purpose. Oh my! I just had it come to mind because someone was trying to hurt me emotionally. Some things are okay, but I know this was out of place. I think everyone would think so.
So, I opened my contact lens case and it was a package, and I thought it wouldn't have what I need.
Anyway, I became upset when my eye doctor this time said she only dilates every 3 years normally when usually I get it every time. I thought she said that to mean gay. She explained this time why she wanted me to wear my old glasses at the computer, too. It was so I wouldn't get strained and shocked, like. We left the lens stuff at the place, and we were at Subway. She came in and gave it to us. It's funny she saw us there.
So, what was bad was I was thinking of curse words there. They could tell what it was, too.
Temper
I know I have one.
Oh no, I just lost it! Why do I have to be so negative? I think I'm so awkward from my racial problems that I can't help things that come up right now. I try to right it. I don't know why these things are in place in my subconscious.
I don't really need anything. I can do whatever I want. :| What I mean is I know that a lot of people act like they don't like me, but as long as I do nothing illegal and am nice in my attempts that nothing bad will come to me.
Oh no, I just lost it! Why do I have to be so negative? I think I'm so awkward from my racial problems that I can't help things that come up right now. I try to right it. I don't know why these things are in place in my subconscious.
I don't really need anything. I can do whatever I want. :| What I mean is I know that a lot of people act like they don't like me, but as long as I do nothing illegal and am nice in my attempts that nothing bad will come to me.
2 Things
Well, I never am mean to people even if they tortured someone and killed them...
Also, it's important for young people to not learn to curse. They can grow up with their own personality. :|
Also, it's important for young people to not learn to curse. They can grow up with their own personality. :|
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