So, what happened was...

...I thought the couple wanted me to call their daughter the "n" word on the internet to make the word seem like just another word early on.  Why would I actually sit there and believe that?  I have other issues about not doing things like that, too.  I am into being different, and I had ingrained in my head that curse words were okay, in a way, if they are not used against other people, at the time.  I think it was ingrained years back.  It was like a plan for one day.  So, this message was not good.  I was ready to live.  I was already 23 1|2.  Now, I'm gonna be 26.  I regret this happening, but my life has also improved in some ways.  I regret it, anyway, for what it is, of course.  I'm a bit mad, though, that this has affected my life.  This was a special time for me, but it's not so special anymore.  I guess it was kinda okay but not all I dreamed.  I am strangely happy to have discovered that I like "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  So, I lost 2010, 2011, and 1|2 of 2012.  Now, that's a lot of time, almost as long as it was since coming home from college.