Why do people want me to call someone the "n" word?

If people so wish I did by my own will call someone the "n" word, rather than them acting like they really want me to do it, that proves that the other people are guilty because that's what they wish happened.  Also, if the people on the other side wish that, as well, that proves that they did it, really did symbolically wish for me to do that.  I think it was more than just the subconscious.