to New Orleans

...

Titanic was the big thing.  Things then were getting pretty advanced, but they all fell after that when I moved to the New Orleans area.

I remember there was the big mall in Jacksonville where I lived once.  Now, the trash cans say thank you after you throw something in them.

So, I moved to the New Orleans area.  I didn't see the same kinds of clothes.  I was completely lost.

People there said, "ya'll," all the time, and I never did but like trying it out at home later once or twice.  I've used it online since but only for fun.

So, I did e-mail and some IM.  I didn't get into the internet.  I still held onto mourning losing the storyboard about penguins.  I just had to make the right move.  I wish I got into the program right away, though.  I mean, I was there and allowed.  I could already type pretty well, for some reason.

The reason I felt like dying was because the sensation was so different.  I don't know what it was in a way, but it was a heavy feeling.  I had a feeling of nothingness in a way, you know, like a black hole.

No one talked to me there.  Every night, I'd go home and talk about it with my dad.  I talked about it to my aunts.  I actually started calling them on my own for fun because they're so cool.  It was always the topic.  The people there talked to me when I would get in trouble for it and otherwise wouldn't.  That messed me up bad.  I had no friends.  Everyone there seemed disabled and like they were fat.  Sure, there were stellar people as I grew up.  It was interesting meeting people from other cities in the area.  I didn't really fit in in my city.  I'm glad I lived there.  It was sorta neat.  I've met people from New Orleans and went to college there.  I know it's a pretty advanced city.  I guess it was the boondocks that was different.  It might just have been the city I was in.  I think that's the lowest of the low.  I knew, in moving there, I would never be the same again.  I was impressed with the people in New Orleans, though.  I am beyond messed up.  I wonder if I will ever heal and when.  I'm not fat in the same way people from that area are.  I guess I'm not that messed up.  I did meet some neat people, but, thinking of it in order, means people with a special background.  I guess people there are very accepting.  They get very surprised by high class.  I lived there for 6 years.  I was 12-17.  I really took off at college in New Orleans.  I was there for 1 good solid year.  I had problems after that.  A hurricane did hit.  I had problems because I was taken out of my major of music education.  It disturbed me.  I feel useless and helpless and unaccomplished!  I mean in general.  I have to iron and do laundry.  I feel fat in the way people from there are fat.  I know I am accomplishing in thinking and posting to my blog, though.  I need to think.