Hmm... ?:

I'm getting into trouble, I think 3 times now, for thinking of the word "kill," like to kill someone.  People know.  I grew up with everyone saying, "My mom's gonna kill me," so it just comes out.  I've managed to twist my anger and it doesn't happen much.  I don't think I've given people reason to want to kill me.  Someone online said that, but we were in total rapport he wouldn't.  I think it was an African-American boy.  I just said, "You can't find me."  This was on a virtual world chat place.  For some reason, I haven't been getting that angry lately.  There's so much in the past I wish I could alter.  I think that would set me well, but I'm also taught not to look back like that.  Nothing can happen now.  It's kinda funny to think someone would want to kill me.  It's just because of all the crazy ways people have been treating me since I thought someone wanted me to call them the "n" word, though.  Okay, so, I guess it's true that people have been saying to use it in a friendly way, and that's what I did.  There were no disgusting thoughts attached.  If I had gotten more rest and were feeling better, though, I wouldn't do it because it's silly.