If only I remembered the chain of events...

...I dunno.  I grew up thinking you could think whatever you want and it's been set in stone for me, so I have to think of not doing things I normally wouldn't do.  I seem to have gotten in trouble when I think of the word "kill."  I don't know about you, but growing up kids used to say their parents were going to kill them.  My mom has gotten strict to me in a way that reminds me of that.  I think it's because she knows I thought someone wanted me to call them the "n" word online.  It does go both ways.  I sometimes hurt myself by hitting things, like slapping myself and stuff and afraid I'd lose my teeth.  I don't know if it's from all the grinding I used to do, but I have a chip on a front tooth.  Sometimes, thinking of killing myself is a miscellaneous thought that comes to my mind, but it doesn't anymore for some reason.  I wonder if the medicine is helping me.  It's medicine for schizophrenia.  I wonder if I should take it every day.  I'm taking it every 3 days now.  It's actually changed facets of my life but not like calling someone the "n" word online.